by Cecilia, Intern
When I asked a chanter at my church how to get over my chanting nerves, he laughed and said, “Realize it’s not about you.” Ouch. This was a difficult comment for me to swallow because I realized just how self-absorbed I was! My fear and insecurity were preoccupying my ability to truly serve God and praise Him with my voice. I needed to come to the realization that it wasn’t about me: it was about God! I had to get over myself.
Coincidentally, just a few days before this conversation, my priest relayed to me a saying he had heard once: “you need to get over yourself to give yourself.” I was confused by this at first, not seeing how it practically applied to my life, but after hearing this chanter’s response to my question, I began to see the truth of this axiom everywhere!
Now, when we are told to “get over ourselves”, it’s usually because we are acting self-important or are obsessing about something that (in all likelihood) troubles us alone. In this phrase, “getting over ourselves” can also refer to being at peace with who we are: who God made us to be. There are things we don’t necessarily love about ourselves, but to fully surrender ourselves to God, we must work with what we’ve been given! Our talents, disposition, and personality can and should all be instruments in serving God. We also must be careful to not compare ourselves with others so critically! Perhaps others seem more talented or better suited to serve, but let us remember: life is not so much about what we are given, but what we do with what we are given. So how can we start to give ourselves?
What better example is there to look to but Christ? I am reminded of the verse in Philippians, telling us that He “emptied Himself, taking on the form of a servant.” The Greek word used for “emptied” in this verse is ekenosen, which means to divest yourself of your prerogatives and abase yourself. What a contrast to what I do! Christ utterly emptied Himself of any prerogatives (and what prerogatives He as God has!) in order to endure the Passion and Cross, thus saving mankind. And to this great sacrifice, what do I give back? I am utterly nothing without God, yet I am so stingy in giving any efforts or talents back to Him.
And when I do have opportunities to serve, I often consider them unworthy of my time or beneath my talents. Now, if you have watched Man of God (and if you haven’t, you must!), you may remember the scene of St. Nektarios on his hands and knees, scrubbing the bathroom floors. It is evident that he considered no task beneath himself, and served God joyfully in whatever way he could. He “got over himself”, so to speak, and refused to allow his ego to prevent him from serving the Lord. In the same way, let us follow Christ’s example, wishing to serve, not to be served (Matt 20:28). Christ set aside all of his glory and self-concern to serve us, so let us be faithful in the same way, in both small and great things. St. Nikon writes, “Perform every work attentively, no matter how unimportant it may seem, as if done before the face of God." So, for a start, we can let go of what we think we are worthy of doing, and try to fully give ourselves to God in every opportunity that arises.
When we are so focused on ourselves (what we’re doing, or how we’re doing it, or what people are thinking of us as we’re doing it), we’re not focused on others. We must get over ourselves and make our lives more about others. Let us look around! Surely, there are people who we can serve right where we are, right now, if only we can overcome our fear of serving others, our insecurity, and our self-importance.
Second, we must try to refrain from projecting ourselves onto others. Thomas Merton wrote that “the beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” Thus, we should make a start in getting over ourselves by truly appreciating people for who they are. We can do this by genuinely listening to others with compassion and patience, instead of pouncing on any opportunity to share our (apparently so profound) thoughts.
I must mention my experience at my parish’s outreach ministry to the homeless in Philadelphia. A few teens from my youth group and I served a few weeks ago, and I was astonished by one of my friends who spoke to the poor as if genuinely on the same level as them. She did not view the outreach as helping the people per se, but rather as serving them as a completely equal neighbor. She conversed with them so easily because she was not overbearing, but completely just existing as a friend and neighbor.
To serve is to imitate God Himself, for He came into the world to do so. Let us strive to imitate Christ’s example, giving ourselves to Him and to others for the glory of His name!